Is Gay the New Gross?

Do you ever find yourself using the phrase "that's so gay" when you want to put something down?

I have to admit that I do. But I am a hypocrite because I bristle when people I deem jerks say it.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) would rather none of us tossed the term around in a negative way, and they've launched a campaign against anti-gay language to get us to stop. Well, actually, the campaign is aimed at teens, but perhaps we adults should pay attention, too.

GLSEN makes its point in a new PSA that finds Hilary Duff urging two girls not to use the word gay to put things down.

The girls are shopping when one asks the other if she likes the top she is trying on, and the other girl responds, "It's so gay" with disdain.

Hilary observes the exchange and steps in to tell the girls it isn't cool.

It isn't. But it sure is common for people to use the word gay in a pejorative way, and gay can mean all sorts of negative things like lame and stupid. One of my friends noticed that her nephews were using the word a lot this summer, mostly when referring to things they thought were gross.

So how did the word gay, which at one time simply meant happy and carefree, grow to encompass the many meanings it has today? According to Wikipedia, the meaning of the word took on sexual connotations in the late 17th century, and by the mid-20th century gay was used in reference to homosexuality. Gay—as in "that's so gay"—first came into use as a pejorative in the 1970s. It seems like everyone uses it that way today.

Of course, lots of words have different meanings, and some might argue that at this point the word is so commonly used that it isn't a direct insult to gay people. But as a gay person—even a gay person who uses the term when he knows he shouldn't—you can't help but feel a negative association when someone you know isn't cool with gay people uses it. It's like a sneaky little insult, a way of putting gay people down indirectly by labeling things you don't like as gay.

Do you think we need to be more careful about how we use the word gay?

Before you answer, ponder this: The launch of GLSEN's campaign against anti-gay language coincides with the release of the organization's 2007 National School Climate Survey, which found that nearly nine in ten LGBT teens have been verbally harassed in the past school year and almost half of the kids have been physically harassed because of their sexual orientation.

Now check out the PSA and share your thoughts.

Comments

[Caoilainn]

Can you imagine the resulting uproar if the word Gay was replaced with "Black"? Or worse, the "n" word? Or some other racist/ethnic slur word? Of course, I'm not suggesting that this be done, but it is obvious that many people who take care not to offend other groups think it's perfectly acceptable to insult the Gay community.

[queerplanet]

It's simple. We need to start using the word "hetero" instead.

It actually works.

Gawd. That dress is so hetero. It makes you look pregnant.

Or, that music by Guns and Roses is so hetero. ew.

Or, all this pollution in the world is so hetero. I wish they'd stop having so many babies.

[radicalthought]

I actually have stopped friends, and relatives from using that term. I question them "what about it makes it gay?" What do you really mean when you say this?

I'm floored that gay men use this term quite a bit. Why? We've worked so hard to show the rest of the world that we're not evil, and that we are loving, capable community contributors. Why do we then use what seems like a small thing (thats so gay) against ourselves?

Ludicrous.

[Al]

As an open police officer in south Mississippi, I have had to overcome a lot of stereotypes that my coworkers have. Being from this part of America in a macho dominated career field has been a challenge. But with friendly reminders, just today I threw a stapler at an officer for saying, "that's gay.", we can stop it. For the most part I do not feel it is intended as an insult, but it is ignorant and insensitive.

[Michael Andrew Baldelli]

I don't condone the use of the phrase "that's so gay", and dissuade it whenever possible; hearing an adult saying it invariably reminds me of the school bully in 5th grade who used to say it all the time; and that was in the early 70s.

[David]

It's not a big deal, I promise lol.

[Bradley]

haha! I think it's kinda cool. That's so gay? I use it, and frankly i don't give a damn what people think of it!

[Justin]

I actually do get quite offended and cringe whenever i hear people say thats so gay especially teenagers. makes me think how ignorant they are and they are not using that word in the proper context. just say your so gross or thats so gross and not thats so gay or your so gay. like someone else posted above, imagine if it was replaced with the N word or black.

[eurobin]

I'm afraid the party's already over fellow dinosaurs. Gay is passe. There's no place like homo. Prepare to be judged.

I think the writings of Peter Tatchell convey the case "gay is passe" way better than I might.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/feb/14/sexingthefuture

.. or check further thoughts @ http://www.petertatchell.net/

It's all good, apparently :-)

[Aebren]

This article was pretty gay and not in good way.

Being politically correct is starting to become a pain in the ass and this stupid article isn't helping.

Sorry if I offended those who wear their gay badge on their arm but, I don't need to advertise the way I was born.

Toodles...

[Doidologist]

I use this phrase all the time, and especially being a straight-acting gay guy, and having mostly guy friends, we say it all the time. It's just a common word in today's society, not used against gays in any way. Anyone who's THAT bothered by it needs to get the stick out of their ass. It seems like most homosexuals always need something to whine about. I wish some of us would just grow the hell up.

[Dave]

There's much uproar about nothing here. There are plenty of examples in the English language where a word has the same spelling and all, but complete and different unrelated meanings. People are not saying "ewww that shirt looks so homosexual." Just like the unrelated meanings between "happy and carefree" and "homosexual," the word has simply adopted an additional, unrelated definition over the years. I think people who WANT to be offended by this will... but I personally view no connection whatsoever between the different contexts of the word.

[Brandon]

i refuse as a gay male to watch what i say by choice or by whatever means i carry myself in. if i want to say "that's gay" then i will, and if an organization wants to make the negative use illegal, try and stop me. now bear with me on the next part which is my example.

it'd be like a white person saying "nigga" instead of using the "-er" ending and pissing off black people, or hearing a native australian rail some british person with a highly derogative racist slang or something. people say shit because they know the word, and sometimes, don't care the meaning.

i don't mean to offend anyone of any race or gender or orientation by this statement alone, but i abhor anything and anyone dictating to me i cannot speak my mind uncensored the way i choose to. not that i'm racist or bigoted or something, which i'm not. it's just the facts of life.

the idea of telling people using the word "gay" in such a sense is so gay. seriously. i support gay people in many different ways, but if they're supporting something like this, it's an extra prison for a collective of "people" and it gives us one-down and not a one-up.

really truly think about it, if you dare to think outside the "gay" box.

[Thomas]

GAY!! The way teens use the word (in the context discussed in this article) is completely unrelated to homosexuality. Making a big deal about it is just going to create a backlash that isn't going to make it any easier on younger kids (in middle/high school) and, if anything, people will just start using it more out of spite.

[Jair]

I lost all interest in this arcticle as soon as I read that you used wikipedia as a reference. Wikipedia is not a secure source to get facts for any info.

[Sean]

Honestly? Who gives a damn. I really don't care. People have a tendency to only look at the word itself and not what the word implies. So if a person chooses to use the word "gay" and you know that the context they are using it in implies "stupid" or "gross" then who cares. That's such an absurd thing to make a big deal about. Grow up.

[Mykal Romero]

omg gay slang ttyn

[Brad]

control over language is power politics. want your humanity back? fight for it! "gay" used that way steals our humanity every single time and makes us a (pejorative) category - makes us objects. just saying "boyfriend" is "bedroom-talk" for breeders, although they'll say "marriage" or "pregnant" and that's not bedroom-talk. "gay" is not bedroom-talk - it's lived society (their society) every day at work, at the bank, at school. that to "gay badge on your sleeve". it's the trap they want us in. keeps us in shame and keeps us quiet. Ass UP!

[Jayson]

I see it so often, alot of straight folks seem to think it's perfectly allright to use gay as "bad". I too ask them what makes it gay? I get blank looks, and alot of stuttering. I heard my nephew say it, and I told him I was so close to snacking his mouth. His gf used it too, so later that day, I said.. I hate this show its so latina.. she was like WTF??? I said, don't like it do you? Now, don't use words to mean what they don't.

[Clay]

I find the fact that gay people have DEFENDED the use of the word "gay" as an insult and admitted to using it themselves to be beyond abhorrent! People like that set our community back and ad far as I am concerned, are traitors.

Language reflects the values of the culture that uses it. Consider how the English language reflects the sexism that is still rampant within our society. For example, there are more than 200 words to describe a sexually active female (most of them NOT complimentary) and fewer that 25 to describe the same behavior in a man (and few of them are negative).

Those of you who think that language doesn't influence societal standards are simply ignorant.

[Jonathan]

Here's why this 'that's so gay' thing works. Gay men don't give a shit about what happens to other gay men. We just happen to be males who are sexually attracted to specific males physically. We are not a community or a political force or anything like that. And we have nothing in common with racial groups, who, for many decades, had to stick together because there was no money thus there was no choice. Their sense of community was fostered by looking out for one another, the very real threat of losing a job and not finding another because of a lack of education, not affording child care, etc. That bond stuck, and when they were threatened with racial slang they looked out for each other.

And look at gay men! We are repulsed even by each other (look at how many 'straight men' websites are making bundles of money or this whole 'gay for pay' thing, as if we are so disgusted by the sight of another gay man that we can't even be sexually aroused by one). We tolerate being treated like this because we have no spine - we don't do anything to help each other out (and why should we? Most have enough money and time so that they can wall themselves off from other gay men so they don't even have to know their names).

I don't know about you, but when you look at it that way, I can see why people treat us the way they do. We treat each other even worse. Why should they 'tolerate' us when we can't even tolerate each other?

[Nicky]

I don't think it's that big of a deal. People need to be less sensitive. I'm gay and I say it all the time. I don't care when other people say it because I don't take offense to it. I strongly believe that if people could get over themselves and stop being so offended by everything, then nothing would be offensive. Does this make sense to anyone?

[getagrip]

everyone get over yourselves and stop make a big deal out of nothing. there are more important things going on in our world.

[HT]

"Gay" is not the first word whose meaning has changed over time, or has multiple meanings either.

"Gay" also meant "happy" in the mid-20th century.

I think it's much ado about nothing.

[queerplanet]

Personally, I think the most offensive term used on the comment so far has been "straight acting."

ew.

Why would anyone want to be that?

It's so hetero.

[EC]

I don't agree that this language is unwarranted. Those that are offended by this use of the word "gay" might be seen as overly sensitive, but one thing is for sure. Those that see this as no big deal are really fooling themselves. Those people that use it (gay or straight) are subconsciously manifesting their hatred for homosexuals. Let's be honest here. Words just don't appear in the language, they are formed and gain power through usage. Those gay men and lesbians that don't agree are being opportunistic by hanging on the coattails of straight people and accepting negative views of homosexuality.

[Kendall]

It is insulting. Bigots do use it as a double insult. I've been asked several times by straight men and women who have used the phrase in front of me if I were insulted. I would lie and say no; however, I will not lie any longer. It's the same as saying "that's retarded" and that phrase has melted out of most people's vocabulary. The assumption that gay men have the best taste should make the phrase mean something is awesome--not gross.

[Master Terra D]

Wow, this column is so...um, well, gay.
Sorry, but "gay" is now the male homosexual word like "" and "", which I can't use because I'm not black and not a woman.
Let's just be obnoxious and tell people who aren't male homos that they can't use the word. It's ours and we're demanding exclusive usage.
By the way, I'm also a white male, and I'm also claims exclusive use of the word "cracker" for white men. Maybe white women, too.

[Mike]

I"m not shocked that so many self-hating gays would defend the use of the phrase "that's so gay." Let's face it, a great chunk of the gay population hates itself and prefers to cower in the closet (or under their beds) instead of living a proud life of self-respect.

Those of us with self-respect don't need to listen to their opinions, since those opinions are worthless. The 'self-haters' sit back and enjoy all the gains in gay rights and protections that the rest of us fought for, but sit and carp about the great work we do for them.

Someday each and every one of them will wake up and realize their lives are a sham, then they will start to live in a new reality.

As for those of us fighting discrimination and creating a new world, we can be proud of ourselves. We can be proud that we are creating a new world for ourselves and for future generations... a world free of homophobia.

[tucsonevan]

This article is so gay!

[Sargon Bighorn]

Jonathan makes a FANTASTIC point, I think you should all read and re-read his statement.

The term "Nigger" was coined and used by White racists to keep slaves of African descent down and subjugated. The word Gay was started by Homosexuals that where also treated as less than human as a way of helping Homosexuals identify who they were in the greater context of society.

When a non-Gay American uses the term "That's so Gay" only the context can alert the hearer as to whether it's a pejorative or not.

"Nigger" when used by a non African American will almost always convey a racist ideology for the reason stated above, its origins are not in the African American community.

Now go back and read Jonathan's comment.

[DrunkenWeasel]

I have never used it. But then perhaps I am "Old School Gay" I am usually offended by it's use in this manner. Shall we start to us the "N" word in the same way?

Lets face it both of these slang terms were started by ignorant prejudice individuals. just as we do not tolerate the "N" word to be used any longer nor should "thats so Gay" Because that is just so lame.

[TV]

For a topic that many are passing off as being unimportant and calling on others to 'get over it', this has gathered quite a lot of discussion. Language is constantly changing, with many words and phrases changing their meaning, connotations, and significance throughout time. With "gay" continually gaining more pejorative power, we might lose its light-hearted flavor (the way we can't freely use "bitch" to refer to actual female dogs without flinching a little first). The usage and misusage of words have political and cultural ramifications.
p.s. on that note, don't forget to use "santorum" more often with your friends.

[pony]

It's the gayworld projected by things like gay.com that give the word 'gay' its ammunition as a term of abuse. Think about it the next time you put up another article that reinforces homosexuals as gossiping, effeminate love-sick sluts.

[corrective_unconscious]

>The way teens use the word (in the context discussed in this article) is completely unrelated to homosexuality.

Denial.

>And look at gay men! We are repulsed even by each other (look at how many 'straight men' websites are making bundles of money or this whole 'gay for pay' thing, as if we are so disgusted by the sight of another gay man that we can't even be sexually aroused by one). We tolerate being treated like this because we have no spine - we don't do anything to help each other out

Self hating, hysterical over generalization.

[Joseph Anderson]

It's interesting to read this knowing that I did a college paper related to this issue just a few weeks ago. I agree in every sense of the word wit this paper. I've known people even family to use the word out of context and sometimes I just wanna go "pop", on the back of there head!

[Bodyboarder725]

We shouldn't be so sensitive about it, i never cared its not a big deal stop making everything a big deal its finee lol

[Brandon Sills]

I"m a very big supporter of freedom of speech in many diverse aspects. However, I will state myself very clearly right here. There is no true community, and there is no support from insiders and outsiders alike to balance out what is referenced to as "gay culture"

so the possibility of telling someone like me to stop saying "that's totally gay" in public or in the privacy of my own home, is like saying i can't perform oral or anal sex with anyone under the age of 35 and above the age of 40. it's completely asinine to dictate how we live our lives and what we do. it's our choice and our own personal responsibility in how we output ourselves and the results we wish to achieve with it.

apparently from a couple of posts, some people are so sore from this subject, it actually beats being sore attempting to be a power bottom or whatever the hell you call it. get a clue people. it's no harm, no foul. it only harms when you take offense to it with more than a grain of salt. take a fucking chill pill and let it slide. it's no big deal anyways.

that or maybe wire your anus or mouth shut with paperclips. life has more to offer than attempting to force tolerance down someone's throat who has a different approach and rapport to such a subject.

[anonymous]

I work in the schools and "gay" doesn't mean "gross" it means "lame" or "sucks"....aka That's gay...How gay...

[anonymous]

Those who think it's not a big deal to say, "that's gay" think what people would say about a phrase being made for Jews, "That's so Jewish" or blacks, "That's so negro"..or even Democrats, "How Liberal, ew...". Those people would freak!

[Cameron]

I love the idea of using "hetero" in place of it. LOL.

I'll admit, while I've nevr used "that's so gay", I have a habit of calling things "poofters" when things dont go quite right. I'm aware of it, but if anyone ever questions me, I just say, "Well, its like black people and the word "nigger". Takes them a few seconds to realise what I'm saying, and they usually crack up at it. Bear in mind, I dont say it with any malice, either. :)

[barack hussein obama]

never gonna give you up never gonna let you down never gonna run around & desert you
never gonna make you cry never gonna say goodbye never gonna tell a lie & hurt you

yup. rick astley = gay ga ygaygaygaygaygay

also OP IS A FAGGOT

[Sanction Mobile]

Whew! What a long post to read through.

A couple of points:

1) While I DO object to the flippant use of the word, I view is as being equal to 'queer'/'strange' as opposed to 'homosexual'. So THAT is how it got into mainstream lingo (imho)

2) Whether or not ANYone around gets insulted by the use of the word, it DOES reflect a certain amount of a growing trend in people to not truly give a shit about ANYone else's feelings. How many people (if truly considerate of others) would EVER think say to their mom: "Yo! Bitch! When's supper?"

Any person using the phrase "That's so gay" is probably NOT in a caring/deep/emotional relationship since it would require a MUTUAL caring.

As a side note:
When I hear people saying "that's so gay" within my earshot, I spin around and say "Really!?! I didn't think it warranted THAT much high praise!" and then watch them try to wriggle out THAT one.

[JOHN PAUL PADILLA]

As an artist, model, and published arthur I have heard the word gay tossed around like it was such a bad thing! I quite frankly had to stop my siblings to quit it because it bothered me and its GREAT to know that someone is fianlly doing something more drastic to stop this! Using the term as if was gross or bad, in a negative context is all wrong and offensive! I have personally heard it more from the teenagers than from the adults and I am glad someone is finally putting a stop to this non-sense! GAY SHOULD BE A WORD to mean, happy, lively, and full of spunk, as it once was first used and still remains and not a word to offend our orientation or put other people, places, things down! Who among us is free of sin to say thats so gay or thats so hetero! ALL OF US have a tail to step on and the best thing is to show the heteros that we are better and simply tell them its time they stop using a word that degrades us in some shape or form!IT ALL STARTS with us!

LOVE TO EVERYONE AND I'M SO GAY, ITS A BETTER TERM HAHA HAHA, AND NOT THATS SO GAY...EWW

AND IM GLAD... IM GAY BECAUSE IT MEANS

G=GOOD A= AS Y=YOU AND ALL OF US ARE GOOD OR BAD AS WE WANT TO BE AND NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE US!

[Micah]

If hearing "that's so gay" is the worst thing that has happened to you lately, then you must have a pretty good life. Like someone said earlier, gay guys are always finding something to whine about or get offended over. The world is always out to get them. I've used the term "that's gay" before and I really don't care. People have used it around me and I just laugh, it really doesn't phase me in the least.

[SA]

It is a bit offensive, there is no one to blame but us as a whole. The phrase "That so gay" makes me feel that being gay is wrong as if gay was trash or even worse. Yes many of my Homosexual friends use the term. We use it because just like the "N" word among African Americans. You see a lot of African Americans use it around themselves yet no one outside the race will dare say it. Because they feel its their right to use it, after all if your not part of a race/culture how can you know what it's like, how do gain the knowledge of what the prejudice of that race/culture is, simply you don't. The same with Homosexual men and Women. I use it because I know what it is to be a gay man but hearing heterosexual use of the word if offensive. In the end it our fault and partially Johnathan is right a post a bit higher than mine, we allowed people to see gay as mere Pop culture, and not so much as people. Because we have not reach the point where we honestly unite.

[Michael]

I think it's a shame that this is where we are in society today. Every group wants respect from others, but then they show no respect for themselves. If we as gay society want others to view us as equal, we need to stop putting ourselves down like that, even if it is in jest among ourselves. How often do we refer to someone as a "fag" or "girly" or "flamer", and then cringe when others that aren’t gay say the same? It’s similar to hip hop music and the casual use of the dreaded "n" word! If a white person would say it in the same context, it would be offensive (as it should be), yet it’s alright to hear our African-American role models to throw it around like a common noun. If we want others to respect us, we need to respect ourselves. Change starts at home... It’s time to start giving ourselves the kind of respect that we are looking for from others.

[David]

Gay is perfectly fine, stop being so anal.

hahahaha.

[Jesus]

Think about this.
If everyone in the world was gay, the human race would be extinct within 20 years due to lack of reproduction and aids.

Therefore, you cannot argue that homosexuality is either right or natural.

QED, Intellectually checkmated etc. etc.

[David Davidson]

Hello David Davidson here I would like to express my formal apologies for all the problems I have caused all of you homosexuals.
For all of the troubles I have caused you I will give you all 1 Free pass to sign up at http://www.godhatesfags.com/
There you will find a forum where you can talk to others like you.